11/11: Proof of Life (and $8.44)

After I finally sat down last night and poured out everything that had been swirling inside me, something loosened. I went to bed feeling lighter — like I’d made a deal with myself to let it go. To rest easy knowing that I’d finally launched the blog I’ve dreamed about for twenty-two years. The scaffolding of my vision is finally standing, even if it’s coming together more slowly — and in stranger ways — than I ever imagined.

I didn’t check analytics. I didn’t scroll to see who reacted to the launch post. Instead, I let the rain drum gently on the porch roof outside our bedroom window and allowed myself to sleep — deeply, peacefully — for the first time in weeks.

When I woke, it was 11/11 — the same date, back in 2019, when everything cracked open with our old landlords and the Universe made it crystal clear: it was time to find a new home. That was the day co-creation got real. The messy beginning of the manifestation that eventually brought us here.

Curled up in bed, half awake, I happened to open my Professional Facebook dashboard and blinked:

$8.44 earned.

Since activating monetization on October 28th, I’ve barely posted — just shared what’s on my heart when it feels true. And yet, there it was. A tiny number, but such a big message. Proof that when I show up as myself — no pushing, no striving — something resonates. I’m not shouting into the void.

By the time I made it downstairs, I was buzzing. Ideas for pages and tweaks to my website poured in as fast as I could write them down. Then—life. A text from the college kid: work shoes and pants needed, $150. Another from my mom: last day for the ski-pass sale, Isla needs to be fitted today. Each one a little jab to the gut as I watched the balance dip.

But the pangs of fear pass quickly now. I catch them, breathe, and choose trust over fear — again and again.

At the ski shop, I laughed with Tones and told him that $8.44 in two weeks is over four dollars a week — clearly my online empire is thriving. We both cracked up. Humor helps loosen the grip of fear.

Still, beneath the laughter, gratitude hums. Because this morning was the reminder I needed: that every little sign of alignment matters. That my message is landing. That I’m not alone.

Every small act of trust rewrites the story.

And at the end of the day — I am you, and you are me, and we are all connected.